I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
