I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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