Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
