The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
