I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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