your room smells of hookers.
And success
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
