She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
