I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
