i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize