Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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