Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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