oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
