I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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