dude i'm inner monologue high
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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