we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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