im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize