God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
