I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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