What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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