All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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