yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
