What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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