he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
