I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
