she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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