I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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