she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
