You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
