found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Alive.
So much puke
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
did i just pee glitter
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
