super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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