Can i not drive my cunt home
I can text with my tongue
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
