So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize