Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
