I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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