Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
