Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
