Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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