Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
