thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No subtext here. People are naked.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
