I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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