I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
