So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
