Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
