Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
