redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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