Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
