We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
