just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
