**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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