her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
