And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
