I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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