I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize