i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Bring me that man meat
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
