I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
