So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and she was petting her beer can
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
