Christians are straight up FREAKS
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
