He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize