I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
