you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
