Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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