stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
