Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
