I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
bring money and cleavage
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize